Fuck. I'm trying to hold down my vomit so bad right now. I apologize for being graphic. I can't stop coughing and my throat honestly feels like it has 3rd degree burns. I feel like I'm going to die. Out of no where I just started to gag which turned into this. This feels absolutely horrible.

I just went down stairs for a good 5 minutes and just puked up blood. Why? I still really don't know. But I feel horrible. Before going into writing this I didn't feel like this, now I do.

So I'm a bundle of confused and disgusted in myself. I really need to stop this bullshit I'm pulling. I don't want to fuck/fool around. And essentially that feels like the route I'm going in.

I think I'm going to ditch Alex? I'm still not even sure on that. We'll see, he's acting fucking weird and I'm just not interested in cat and mouse or chasing him.

That girl and I are kind of talking, I'd like if something would come out of that. I honestly would rather have a legit girl friend right now than a boyfriend. But, dudes pop up more than girls.

Kevin won't talk to me still, probably a good thing. He hung out with Sarah the other day. His ex. Awesome. I thought he didn't want shit to do with her, awesome. He probably fucked her too I bet. Oh well. I got mine.

I think Monday if my forms and stuff don't come in I will see if my mom will bring me to the DMV so I can get my shit started. I feel horrible I can't sit here anymore ugh. Goodnight.