I'm really trying to push hard against everything that's holding me down.
I've gotten really good over the years to work against a lot of things.
When I'm so sick that I should be in a hospital, I work hard. Even though I shouldn't.
I do a great job at hiding how shitty I feel when I have to, just to get things done.

Today, I don't feel as awful. But I feel all sorts of dizzy. My stomach and local areas feel dizzy as well. Twisting and turning. My nose, running miles and I'm coughing up a hurricane. My lungs and my ribs and my back and shoulders, all ache.

I'm going to try and go out to dinner tonight with Jessica and get some air and hope that I don't die. I'm currently trying to get some school work done because I really need to.

I'm staying with my mom for a bit after valentine's day to get back to health and see some friends that I haven't seen in months, it seems.

Today, I'm seeing Jessica<3. Tomorrow, hopefully Phil is coming over and he will stop being MIA. I really feel like he's torn himself from Kevin and I. He never comes over anymore and rarely even talks to us. I really hope this changes. If he doesn't then probably Alaina will come over. And Friday, Alaina is doing my hair. I want it dyed/bleached/colored whatever. I need a change. And Saturday, Jessica and I are doing something for valentine's day because well.. Kevin wants to do something, but expects me to just plan something and although that'd be nice and all.. I always do all the work and the planning. Your turn sir.

I'm really exhausted.